from the valley of lost memories

This is a continuation from the article below. So may be you should read that first, the one named 'the contract in blood'.

The revelation came down upon me like waves of the sea coming down on the shore.

I was on my way to the other world. They call it heaven. They call it hell. They call it netherworld. So many names. Worlds and Gods unseen have many names, to suit our ever-so-crumbling, frail faith. I must have been void of emotions, since I don't remember being either happy or sad to go the other world. I have no memory of what it felt like and what the surroundings looked like. No memory of how long I have been in that state. No memory of what moment, that something snapped. Something struck a chord in me. A chord the existence of which I was not even aware of. I saw. I saw a light. Oh no. It was not Him! Not the God nor His Son. A firefly. Suddenly, there was desire swelling in me. It grew as a candle that comes to life when lit. But it grew from inside the darkness. Almost as if, the darkness has been caring for it, nursing and nurturing it. No there is no doubt about it. And as desire coursed through every inch of my numb nerves, I remembered. I remembered I have to follow the firefly. My muscles twitched and before I knew, I was moving. I had a will. But I had no control over it. The will had a life of its own. I walked into a land soaked with blood. No. It was drenched with blood. The reeking odour of the alkalic blood was nauseating. I almost bowled over, at first. Then I got used to it. Then I got high on it. I saw the crimson red sun. I wondered if it was the colour of the sun or of the blood splattered over. Here and there, were chunks of meat twitching. I was not sure if I was walking on the land, for it was so soft, mushy and sticky from all that blood, it could as well have been a layer of flesh. Here and there were bones sticking out. Bones with cleanly cut edges.

A flash of light sought my attention to a group of demons closing in a circle. Fifteen feet tall beasts. A few had risen from the blood soaked ground just before I reached. They were a few hundreds. Some had long heavy tails. Some had scales on their body. Some were hairy. No. Not anything like the images of demons imagined by a child when his mother scares him to sleep. Some had horns. Horns that rose from the sides of head, shoulders, elbows, ankles. Some had many limbs. Fangs. Long claws. Not all of them were ugly though. The ugly ones were clumsy. But the handsome and the beautiful ones were very swift and skillful. The demons must be very heavy and powerful. When they ran, I could feel the land shiver. They all had weapons. Swords, axes, clubs.. weapons of all kinds. Were they fighting themselves? It would not be a surprise. They are so brutal. Savages. Strong and fast savages. But no. They were not fighting themselves, for a moment later I saw the warrior. Or rather a part of him. Wings. He had wings! I saw the wings raised above. The warrior must be pretty tall too, But I could not see him. I saw only the wings. Black wings dripping with scarlet red blood. I heard words. A spell being chanted. A strange language but the spell resonated in me. A female voice. Then I saw thunder being wielded in a hand striking down half the legion in a moment. It should have made me shudder. When I think about it now, it does. More beasts fell. The dusk was approaching fast. And then I saw the silhouette of the warrior against the setting sun; the silhouette of a warrior who moved so fast, my eyes could not catch up with the movements. There was a brisk movement in the wings and the two hands and the next I saw was two beasts slain by the wings, one beast with its head cut off and the other with its heart plunged out by bare hands. I felt the wrath with which that heart was squashed. But deep inside I felt grief. The grief was not mine. It was only when I understood, that I was abe to see. I saw the sword, the majestic sword in such skillful hands. I saw the warrior in full glory. In her full glory. The sword was long and gracefully thin. It was red with blood dripping from it. And where there was no blood, there was nothing. It was a invisible sword, perhaps. She was about thirteen feet tall. She jerked the blade free of blood. She dropped the punctured heart from her other hand. Her hands were red from blood. But she had no scratch. She is unwounded. Unwounded despite fighting with so many demons. Her skin was black. Her eyes red. She had elven ears and her hair was .. blue! The colour of Lapis Lazuli, that blended in harmony with the tan of her skin, and yet, it stood out.

For a brief moment my eyes met hers. She was searching. When she saw me, her expression changed. She felt relieved. But not relaxed. Her hands kept killing. With every beast that she slew, blood spilled over her. She did not wince. Not once. Two more demons left; charging at her madly. It is not much for a warrior who killed, I don't know how many, thousands. But she faltered. She thrust her sword in the ground and rested her weight on it. 'No! No! Not now. Don't give in now', screamed my heart with in me. But she would not move. Her eyelids came down closing. 'No. Not now', I whispered. Before I knew, I was chanting. How could I know any spells. Who am I? A streak of pleasure throbbed against its prison walls inside my heart as I watched the two demons crumble down to dust in their run.

The warrior fell to her knees, her chin resting on the back of her palms, placed on the hilt of the sword. I began walking towards her. Its a strange land, I noticed then. A flat land stretching as far as your eyes could see. The entire expanse drenched in blood. I walked across that little stretch between me and the warrior. Three feet away from her I stopped and wondered if she shrank to my height or if I grew almost as tall as her. For I have nothing to judge which, and I can see she is not too tall now. Her sword seemed shorter than earlier, too. Some emotion .. striking its fists against the walls of my heart. Pounding. But I could not recognise what emotion it is. Its as though, the emotion was locked away in a prison. The same prison against which throbbed the pleasure of spelling magic. I stood beside her, bent low, took a hand from under her chin and put it over my shoulder, across my neck. When I touched her, her skin changed to a fairer complexion. I was preparing myself to lift her to her feet. For a warrior who fought those several, save two, demons, she was unusually light. So light, I lost my balance out of over expectation. I felt foolish. What was I thinking. A winged creature ought to be light. I got her on her feet and walked with almost all her weight on me. She would not let go her sword and dragged it along.

Her face was so close to mine. She was beautiful. I wanted to see her more clearly. Take in all the details. I turned to see her. That imprisoned emotion pounding hard. What is it? What is happening to me? Who am I? I pressed my lips against her cheek. Then I forced myself to draw back. What am I doing? A tiny droplet coursed down her eye. I raised my hand to wipe it off. I rubbed away the droplet, but left behind blood. Surprised I look at my hand. My wrist is cut. When did it happen? How? I looked at her face again and saw her looking at me through the corner of her eyes. It started pouring from above. As the rain trickled down her face washing away the blood, she licked it off and drank. The prison inside me broke open. I stopped walking. I closed my eyes. Yet, I could see. I could see her strength coming back. I could see her wings washed clean. I saw her blade draw back inside the cut on her wrist. I saw her wrist heal. She no longer leaned on me. She wound her strong hands across me. I heard the flutter of feathers as she stretched her wings. The flutter of feathers. The sound I have been waiting for all my life. I opened my eyes to see us flying. Flying in a different world. A world with trees and mountains and birds.

We sat on a tall hill. A very tall hill. The wind was blowing against my face. I could hear the ruffle of feathers in her wings. She held them outstretched. I could feel it with in me. She was relishing the wind. But I could also see tears in her eyes.
"You should go back", she said
"Not without you"
"I will come with you, Aeon"

It felt like a fragment of memory. An alien fragment of memory. It was so different it did not feel like mine.
"Aeon? My name is Jade", I said. Raven was sitting across the branch over the lake. She was watching the fish.
"Your name is Aeon. I named you", she asserted.

Well, thats another story.

When Raven was cursed to stay in Eternity, the magic distorted, as it always does around her. When Raven landed, a few, I mean a few hundred, demons rose from the ground. No matter how many times she killed them, they kept rising from the dead. The curse of eternity could be broken, but Raven has sworn to never use magic. There are two other ways to break the curse: the one who cast the spell must withdraw, but that would not have worked well with magic distorting around Raven. The other way is to somehow put an object that does not belong to the Eternity. I might have been that object. There is more to me, but it need not be talked about now. With my arrival, the curse broke. Her strength was already failing. She summoned the lightning through me.

The contract? Oh! the contract. Right. She drank my blood I accidentally rubbed on her cheek. That is the contract and this is the story. Story of the contract in blood, of the missing fragment of memory.

Ravene Maternum Aeon.
Or just call me Jade.

the Contract in blood

Long long time ago, actually forty three thousand two hundred seconds back, give or take seven thousand two hundred, there was a chat! Yes. A chat. An interesting and very deep-in-meaning chat from which ensued a story. The chat was between two characters of my story. One was called Mad-eye. Nobody knows his true name. The other was called Chrno. Thats not his true name either. His true name is Aeon. Chrno is the name of his "pal", whom he liked. Whom he killed! This story is narrated by Aeon. BITI, for your reference is a place from where you graduate to heaven. Aeon dropped out. Nobody knows whether he voluntarily dropped out or if he could no longer cope up. But who cares? The story...
............... Mad-eye: Sorry, I keep missing you. Exams here.
7:25 PM Chrno: naa... May be I am getting more enigmatic :P

Mad-eye: hehe. How have you been?

7:26 PM chrno: hmmm... Hearty might be the right word.

Happy to be physically out of the BITI :)

Mad-eye: why??

Nice place.

chrno: The boy was eating filth there.

Yea. Good place alright!

Nice ambiance and all,

7:27 PM but food is rotting.

Mad-eye: chee

chrno: And I will tell u what...

That air in BITI.. or something .. there is something that sucks on ur life force.

7:28 PM Mad-eye: haha

chrno: na Really...

Mad-eye: :) Chrno! what happened to you?

chrno: Ever wondered why there are so many crows?

They are more like vultures waiting on the road side in deserts

waiting for u to fall dead.

Mad-eye: I thought you liked crows!

7:29 PM chrno: I like a raven. I like one Raven. Crows are a different species. Same family/genus whatever. But entirely different species. Besides even among ravens I like only my Raven. They are all not the same. They are more like humans. In fact, they are more than humans. They have character.

7:31 PM Mad-eye: How can you distinguish? They all look the same to me chrno: You have to have a bond. More like a contract written in blood. When you make one, you will know which of them is the Raven you bonded with. Although you still can't make out individuals from the the group of others. Besides you don't need to.

Mad-eye: So what are the rules of the contract?7:32 PM chrno: I dunno! 'Cause mine was ... umm... 7:33 PM chrno: natural Mad-eye: Oh?chrno: You know those times when my wrist was cut and I was choking on two cakes of rat poison. Half the blood gone and the rest half blue from poison, eyes dilate. I was at the verge. Of hallucination. Hallucination that comes before death. But I was conscious still. And then something happened. I did not remember what, for sometime. I must have been hallucinating then. I forgot. When I opened my eyes, I was lying down. White bed, white walls, white clothes, white bandage on my wrist with a tiny red smudge. There were people all around. Some were sitting on bed. Some standing by the bed post. All of them were moaning though! "Why did you do it?". 'Why did I do what?', I wondered. All of them familiar faces. Almost all. There was one girl, though, whom I did not recognise. She was sitting beside me on the bed. Hands on my hand. My eyes met hers. She smiled. 'Do I know her? Who is she?'; I wanted to ask. I looked at everybody else. May be she is somebody's friend. Just came along, perhaps. But nobody said anything. They were all still asking the same question: "Why?". They were acting as if she was not there. And then somebody's hand passed right through her. I knew for sure then. Nobody saw her. nobody heard her. Nobody felt her. Nobody but me. Her hands were warm. 'Were not ghosts supposed to be cold? Was she a ghost? How am I seeing her? Did I die?' But everybody was talking to me. Though I was not answering and they did not want any answer. There was no answer anyway.

Then the nurse came along and drove everyone away. "Shoo". But this girl stayed. She was smiling. Her hands still cupping mine. Her eyes watching me. Watching over me. I had never seen such gentle eyes. And they were red. Light red. Very artificial. But thats probably because I've never seen red human eyes. And then I asked her, "Are you a ghost?". She looked at me. Kept staring at me. For long. 'Must be ghost. She probably can't hear me', I thought. Then her look turned into a searching glance. And then there was a ring of laughter. Such a cheerful ringing laugh. I've never seen her laugh like that again. I felt stupid.

"My name is Raven", she said, "Azureth Maternum Raven". She touched my forehead and I sank into sleep.

Later, when we walked together after getting discharged from the hospital, I asked her if she thought I was stupid to have thought of her as a ghost. She smiled and said, "You don't remember, do you?

18 minutes

7:51 PM Mad-eye: So...... What was it?

chrno: Hmm.. Now thats the interesting story. Story of my contract.But you got exam tomorrow and I don't think you can afford to sit and listen to the story.
7:52 PM Mad-eye: Unfortunately , thats true.
chrno: Worry not, my dear Mad-eye! I will put it up on Jade's blog.
Mad-eye: I am grateful for your consideration, chrno chan. I will be sure to thank Jade.
7:53 PM chrno: :) nja na Mad-eye kun.
Mad-eye: ja na.
So here is the story...........
"You don't remember, do you?"
I looked up at her, puzzled. She is tall. Must be six feet. But she does not look like a giant. With her long hair, that 'grim+sad+serene+strong' look on her face, long fingers and graceful steps, the only thing you will notice about her is that she is beautiful. I have been told by some that they also feel scared. But I don't. She is like my angel. She is my angel!
"Remember what?". I wanted to ask what her age was. She turned and smiled as if she knew what I was thinking.
After a long silent while, I said, "I'm waiting".
She smiled and walked ahead of me. "I thought you would remember. I wanted to ask how you reached there".
"Reach where?"
"The Eternity"
"hm?"
"The land where a moment stretched on and on. Where the time does not move. Where the same things keep happening over and over".
"Is that where you lived?"
She turned towards me. Swiftly. Her eyes were deep red now. True colour. The smile is gone. But she is even more beautiful now.
'Oh Boy! Did I make her mad!', I thought.
"No", she said.
A breeze brushed past us, bringing with it the fragrance of 'arali poove'. We reached the road along a lake and it was cloudy. Dark clouds. Darkness wrought with anger and pain.
"Thats where I was put", she continued.
"By whom?"
"My mother"
"Why?"
"I must have annoyed her. She was punishing me".
'Boy! Talk about being lucky. You should know how my mother punishes me', I thought.
"I do", she said! I was astonished.
"You can.... read my mind?"
"Hear your thoughts. Yes. You can hear mine too. For that matter anybody's"
Disbelief. But I tried.
"I can't"
'That's because I was not thinking anything', she thought.
"We can talk through mind?", I yelled. And immediately flushed feeling stupid. She was amused. But she did not laugh. She no longer laughed.
"Of course"
'Wow', I whispered in my mind.
She continued,"Your mom locks you up in space. My mother locked me up in time. Only she did not know some demons got trapped with me. Magic always gets distorted around me".
"Demons?", I whispered. Somethings coming back to my mind. She peered into me.

The revelation came down upon me, like tiles falling over, from the roof.

.............to be continued...

Aeon.

A way of life.

I graduated from a institute with not just a Bachelor's degree but also a living style. I am used to squandering my money on sixty rupee coffee and eighty rupee brownie, on one hundred and twenty rupee mushroom and corn stew and forty five rupee glass of orange juice. My one time (once in a month) spending in a book store is a thousand and two hundred. No. I am not a shopping maniac. I don't spend money on buying my trousers and tees and jeans every now and then. I spend money on "essential commodities". I buy clothes only when I am down to a meager three pairs. Books are essential to me. Oh yes, more essential than daily food. Food in mortal sense is not essential at all. I wonder why this is so, though. However, an occasional splurge on meat and wine is needed. For otherwise, my craving drives me insane and ill-tempered. I moved recently, to a new place. The place is alright. There is this blackened-with-filth ocean shore in the back-yard. The place is close to my work-place. And the rent is modest. The other tenants are alright, too. But just that. Obviously, since none of them graduated from the place I did, they are not very interesting either. It has nothing to do with what institute they graduated from. But I would like to credit my college for the oddities I have acquired. As a result, they don't crave to watch Dark Knight's first show like I do. They don't need to eat in a dingy place where lot of girls and lot of people come. They just need to eat. But I can't be like them.

So I took my bath, wore my best apparel. I put the book, "Dark Alchemy: Magical Tales from Masters of Modern Fantasy", in my bag, checked my wallet and stepped out into cloudy, humid, yet bright Sunday evening. I walked the familiar road towards my office. Around the corner of a public park, a kilometer away from house, there are two coffee-houses. Cafe Coffee Day promised "a lot can happen over a coffee". But I did not want a lot. So I stepped into the other cafe, the Baristas. It was already bustling with humans. I have to mention the species, because lately I read an article that said restaurants in London permit dogs. Not that somethings wrong with that; this place is filled with just humans. How just they are, I know not. I have refrained since long, from judging humans and being clairaudient to their thoughts.

I asked the waiter, 'Is there a seat for one?'. I just wanted to make sure they wont embarrass me saying they don't serve bachelors and singles. But they do. The waiter smiled showing me a table. It was a round table in a corner outside the glass cafe with just one chair. The other chair was either taken away by the large group sitting on the adjacent table or this cafe has tables particularly for bachelors. Either way it did not matter to me. I took out the book and started reading from the page bookmarked by the ribbon. Its a collection of fantasy short fiction. I was reading a particularly enchanting story. Not all stories are as interesting as this. In fact very few are. You stumble up on such stories after reading through a large number of stories. And when you read the story, you feel that crispy, tangy sensation in your tongue, that sharpness in your eyes, that mysticism in your ears, that hair splitting, spine chilling sensation in your heart. There are goosebumps on your arms. In spite of the ranting woman or the shrieking group sitting near by, you become deaf to all the noise except the voice of the persona or the character taking lead.

'Sir? Ahem!'. Darn! Just when a spell is about to take place, that magical world shuts me out, shoving me into the mundane world to attend to the honking bearer, with a pen and a scribbling pad. 'Your order, sir?'. 'Yes'. A quick look at the menu brochure. Names, illustrative pictures and rates. 'A cappuccino and a Devil's Delight, please'. The bearer goes away. But the curse does not leave me so soon. The magical world does not accept me instantly. Too many humans around hampering my concentration.

I tuck the portal key back in.. I meant the book. Then I took out the Reader's Digest. People around relaxed. Think this is the book more appropriate for the ambiance. I started reading an article about how a boy got a chance to sing with the then president Dr. Abdul Kalam. The boy was proud. The boy was happy. The boy states he realised that the quality that unites all great men is humility. Rightly said. It reminded me of how I ended an article for a magazine back at college. I mentioned I learnt three things and one of them was humility. My Coffee and Cake. mmmm.... moist... soft... bitter (in a chocolaty way)... just what I had missed for quite some time now. Eighty bucks is it? Oh. But its worth it. mmmm.. I began brooding. Reminiscing. My way of life. I used to write.
The large group sitting on the adjacent table has 3 boys and 4 girls. One of them is examining a hand-written paper. Some club. May be a handwriting analysis club meeting weekly. Somebody was saying look at those Rs and Ts. Somebody else said, just like writers'. OR may be they are some literary club discussing some author's hand-written work.
I used to draw. I used to read. I used to work with computers. I could cook.
Inside the glass housed cafe, a girl was reading a text-book. Business Law Management! Strange so they come here to do their homework too!
I could stitch. Flowers bloomed happily in the gardens I worked. I knew quite some lessons that would enable me to live my life. I made the right choices every stage of my life. No. Things just happened right. I did not choose. They happened.

A girl happened to stroll by. 'Do you mind if I sit?', she asked pointing her finger gingerly over the table. 'No. Not at all. Only there is no chair and I wont give up mine', I said, quite sober. But she laughed. She turned to the bearer behind her and gestured to put a chair across. Now, the corner I was sitting in is so crowded, the chair will need to be lifted and put across. The chairs there were not plastic and they were not light. So she suggested a boy in the large group to take up the chair the bearer had brought, leaving his to her. That would avoid the need to lift a chair. Nice! She looks for better and efficient means. Unfortunately, her suggestion caused more ruckus than she might have imagined. The boy got confused and you know confusion is contagious. Words were hurled at everybody in the group by everybody else in the group. They asked the bearer to move in now and now they asked him to move out. There was shuffling of chairs. somebody has already made a chair her favourite. The girl stood by the table irritated, probably wondering why she had to suggest what could have been neatly implemented, if only they were a little more intelligent. And while she brooded over her mistake, somebody moaned about spilt iced tea on a chair.

Finally, when she got a chair to sit, she leaned back, looked down under the table and stretched her legs. 'Oh Boy! And to think they are graduates from good schools!'. She hates the inefficient kind. Sweet! I smiled. I should have returned to reading Reader's Digest. Instead I took another bite of the Devil's Delight. It was a delight indeed. She had long black hair, collected in a bun on the crown of her head and then let loose below. She had strange eyes. Were they red? Dark red perhaps. I was never a good observer. Subtle features like the colour of eyes often mentioned in the stories (more like a literary element) always escaped my observation. And yet I could not help be mesmerized by her eyes. But they were subtle. Nobody would have noticed. Nobody but me. She had cherry red lips. No. Not lipstick. There was no gloss. There was no smudge on the glass she just drank water from. On the other hand there was, on mine. No, I don't use lipstick either. But somebody who used the glass before, obviously does. She was serenely dressed. A short white shirt with designer print in black and a orange skirt with flowers printed in green. 'My name is Nevra'. I watched her lips spelling her name. Interesting name, I thought. Her eyes were on me. Looking, perhaps peering inside me. Those deep, deep red eyes. 'Now you tell me yours. That's how it works'. She was smiling. She was not embarrassed. This is perfect. Way too perfect. She is intelligent. She is beautiful. And she knows, I am lost.

'Lost, are we?', came the gentle voice. I smiled. Easily. 'You know', I said.
'What did she talk about this time?', she teased.
'Oh this and that'.
'Yeah?'
'Well, she only finished her introduction'
'Awww..'
She nudged me in my side, while I giggled. 'You know, we should look for something more lofty', I said. 'Hmm', she agreed. She loved watching the fish from where we were perched on. It was a tall pillar in the middle of the sea from which trusses were hanging. A bridge is being worked on. She loved the high places. And I loved listening to the flutter of feathers in her wings... her raven black wings.

I began brooding again. Reminiscing. Musing on the way of life. I have been told by different people. I have been told I am good at different things. Some wanted me to be a academician. Some wanted me to be a painter. Some wanted me to be a writer. I am not trying to brag. I know what skills I possess. I also know how good I am. Which is not so good. I could have become an artist, but that's not my way of life. I could have become a academician, but that's not my way of life either. My life has no "way". There is only a place. One place to be at. Beside Raven, listening to her story. The story of her world, her folk. I rested my head over her shoulders and drifted with her to her world, which became mine. The kingdom ruled by princess Azure and her chevalier Raven! The Enchanted Forest. The valley of fireflies. My world. My home. My way of life. Oh let my epitaph read "..lost in the valley of fireflies..."!

Jade.

coming back...

Yes. I know its a long time. But its ok. My first new post is about to come and I have updated the lists in the side too. Not fully..but yes, I did update.

Jade.