Vanitha (UnCut)

Just a small addition I am making to the chapter already existing in Zephyra, as the image hovers in my mind. The faded text is whats already there and the darker one is what is added.

She thanked fate and chance for her much wanted solitude. But she missed some one. Perhaps she was missing her friend very much. Perhaps if she talked to Vanitha, everything would be alright again. Yes, there is no doubt about it. She stepped in to the coffee shop on her way to her dorm. "Hi", she tried to sound cheerful. 'Hey! Surprise visit?', the cafe keeper raised his eye brows. Zephyra giggled and asked for a chocolate, "No, not the Five Star, she likes Dairy Milk better". "Put it on my tab, Joe", she said and ran. She reached the third door on the second floor and after a moment's hesitation she raised her hand to knock.

***
Vanitha

Zephyra was about to knock, when the door squeaked open a little and Vanitha looked into Zephyra's eyes,"You don't have to knock. My spare keys are with you after all". "You can keep your spare keys.", retorted Zephyra, "They are not what I want to hang around with". The door opened fully, "Come on in", said Vanitha with her eyes cast down, "Please keep the keys with you". If anything has to be said about Vanitha, it should be her obsession with cleanliness. She kept herself tidy with hair parted in two plaits and plenty of talcum on her face. Vanitha preserved the orthodox ways of her mother. Her room was always tidy. If it were not for Zephyra, one would have thought Vanitha was a ghost. There would have been no trace of her having ever lived in the room. But Zephyra was her best friend and she could not bring herself to deny her friend when she wanted to fill Vanitha's walls with graffiti. Zephyra knew Vanitha well enough and so she drew characters from fairy tales on the walls, walking through forests, forests with black lines and curves. "What were you doing?", inquired Zephyra. "Sleeping", Vanitha replied with a shrug. Zephyra looked at the bed all neat and done, with out a wrinkle.

"Sleeping?"
"Yea", Vanitha sat on the edge of the bed, while Zephyra sat on the chair.

"You have not been to the classes for two days"

"Yea.. I am still within twenty percent limit"

"Of course you are. But you have not been out of your room for these two days"

"Of course I have been. Food does not grow in my room and I don't bathe in my room"

"Sure you don't", murmured Zephyra, "Have you been eating well?"

"What are you being so fussy about?"

"I have been eating alone for the last two days and I don't think I like the company of those ...",

Zephyra's voice trailed away.

"I am sorry. I just wanted to be alone"

Zephyra waited for Vanitha to tell her more. She waited and gave up. "Oh so you have been going through old photos? Feeling nostalgic, are we? Missing home?", asked Zephyra flipping through the album on the table.

"Hmm"

After another long wait. Zephyra wanted to slap and shake Vanitha. 'You are making me feel so lonely, you fool', she thought to herself and wished Vanitha would hear her thoughts.

"Hey! This is a nice pic. Its so sketch-able. I can turn it into a nice sketch, girl!"

Vanitha fumbled through her bag and produced a pencil and a sketch pad. Zephyra started sketching the photo. She marked the points to get her proportions right and then she began to make light lines.

"I think I am missing my grandfather now", said Vanitha, almost to herself.

Vanitha's grandfather had died of old age when she and Zephyra were in Chennai on an internship. It was sudden and Vanitha could not make a trip to pay her last visit. She last saw her grandfather two years before. She remembered going with him to temples and to buy grocery and when she parted with him, she never thought that would be the last time she would see him. Had she known, she might have taken a good look at him. She might have even stayed longer. When she heard the death news, she did not know how to react. She could not remember his face. She could not cry. She could not feel the loss. She lived hating herself for being such a cruel, cold-hearted person. She loved her grandfather so much, she stopped being herself after hearing the death news and not feeling anything about it. She renounced everything and kept herself aloof. Zephyra did not know what to do to help and would only look at the idol of Jesus on the crux and wonder what makes humans such wretched creatures. They returned from internship. One night, Zephyra heard hammering sound on the wall between their rooms. And then she heard muffled cries. Zephyra had to use the spare key to open the door, to find Vanitha hitting her head on the wall. That night she cried, like she never did. Zephyra did not understand whether she cried for her grandfather or for not being able to cry when she heard the news. When Vanitha told why, Zephyra cried, too, like she never did. From among those sobs and hiccups, Vanitha told Zephyra in a whisper, "I can not remember his face, Zephyra. I can't remember a bit. I wanted to remember his face before I cried", hitting her head with her palm.

Zepyhra still remembers the night Vanitha was hysterical. It was a cruel sight to see such an innocent child torn down by grief. That was probably the only night, the sheets on Vanitha's bed were dishevelled. There was broken plastic glass on the floor and a dead vase amidst the rubble. There were muffled shrieks in the room. There was blood where the nails ran over her face. Hey eyes were red as if the shortage of tears was forcing blood to be shed. Halfway through the madness, Zephyra embraced her friend, hoping she could absorb a part of the grief. In the very least she could stop Vanitha from hurting herself. But it was too much for Zephyra to take. The wound was too deep for Zephyra to understand. And Vanitha could see no comprehension in Zephyra's eyes. Only pity. And Vanitha could find no mercy, no comfort. She would leave no quarter for Zephyra's solace. She crumbled, weary, leaning against the wall. She buried her head in her knees and howled; so deep and grief-stricken, Zephyra was scared and left her alone. 'May be she needed to cry out. May be then she will find some peace. May be I am just defending my cowardice'. Zephyra stepped into her own room and sat by the wall, listening to Vanitha's cries on the other side. There is small lump bitter lump in her throat. It hurt her larynx, stifled the vocal chords. It seemed like an eternity to Zephyra, before the cries stopped. She waited. She tapped on the wall.

"Vanitha?"

"Anything. Anything for some memories. Please", Vanitha begged.

"Vanitha, are you okay?"

"Do you have to ask? Your eyes tell me, you comprehend. You know the answer. Give me what is mine. Please"

"What are you mumbling, girl?"

The glimmer of Darkness

The little boy sitting in front of Vanitha on his knees, reached for and raised Vanitha's head. He touched the tears flowing across her cheeks. He brought the fingers closer and examined the tear drops with interest. Then he smelled it. "I bet this is going to taste acidic, too", he said staring into a dumb-stricken Vanitha, with a little disgust. "Oh! You might want to listen to her", he remembered and pointed to a dark shadowy figure sitting on the bed. The boy stood up and proceeded to examine the room, the sketches on the wall, the broken shards on the floor and would later sit beside the figure on the bed, dangle his legs and stare at Vanitha with much amusement.

The shadowy figure made a conversation with Vanitha, but no sound emanated from her.

"I can't remember him", confided Vanitha in a whisper

"You love him so very much. But what you ask for comes at a price"

"Anything. Anything for some memories. Please", Vanitha begged.

"Even your life?"

"Do you have to ask? Your eyes tell me, you comprehend. You know the answer. Give me what is mine. Please"

"So do you, child. Not many judge me like you do. The darkness has the strength and the mercy to let the light glow. You shall have what is yours and in return I shall take what is mine"

Vanitha (Contd....)

'Oh boy! She has gone delirious', thought Zephyra and sprang to her feet. She ran to the door. "Open the door, Vanitha". Impatience is irresistible. Without waiting, Zephyra used the duplicate keys and opened the door, to find Vanitha standing, with her palms joined across her bosom and a smile on her lips, staring into the air. The sketch on the wall, thought Zephyra. Vanitha turned to Zephyra and said softly,"I can remember now. His eyebrows. His...". Vanitha now payed full attention to the wall ahead. "I can remember now. Yes. I can. Thank you. Thank you", she broke into soft tears, "Thank you. Thank you, Oh Angel of the Dark. Thank you" Zephyra, walked swiftly towards Vanitha and shook her, touched her forehead with the back of her palm, "You are running cold".

"I am alright", replied Vanitha and hugged her and sobbed softly.

Vanitha overcame her grief eventually. Things returned to normal. As normal as it can get, after losing someone very dear. Time, Zephyra believed, is a great healer. And Time, she also knew, causes new wounds. And so it was a matter of time, before Vanitha was overcome with another shadow. Only this time, Zephyra did not know whats ailing her friend. And she hated not knowing it. She felt a wave a relief when Vanitha admitted that she was missing her grandfather. She thought Vanitha is going to confess, but the confession never came. When Zephyra looked up from her sketching, Vanitha was trying to draw, too. Vanitha was never good with pencil and drawing and anything artsy. Vanitha drew up a stick and ball figure of a girl with flowing hair holding hands with another girl with two plaits. Vanitha looked up and beamed. Zephyra smiled and said, "You might want to give labels for others to identify". "Or, you could be the only one of those others to see this and you already know who is who", retorted Vanitha. Zephyra stared at Vanitha for a while, heard some one within her say,'She is just fine', smiled, held Vanitha's hand, twisted it to look at the watch and said,"Dinner?". "Sure", came the reply. 'A good meal after two days', Zephyra said to herself.

They groaned when they reached the cafeteria. They managed to gulp down some food and quickly went out to the coffee shop.

"Two coffee before we throw up", said Zephyra hastily.

"Another bad meal?", asked Joe.

"The worst"

"Hmm..", Joe handed out two cups of coffee,"A story?"

"Oh! sorry. Not today Joe. Taking a walk with Vanitha"

"Ok. Tomorrow then"

"Sure. Oh, add the chocolate to the bill"

Zephyra and Vanitha walked the streets, lit with yellow neon lamps, talking. Zephyra complained about Jessica. She talked about how she was scared about being caught dozing in the nonlinear dynamics class. She talked about how someone nicked the attendance sheet away and the professor threatened to punish the whole class. They walked back to their rooms, still talking.

"So you are gonna come for classes tomorrow?"

"Yeah. I am"

Zephyra thought she saw a tinge of grief, a lurking shadow.

"Sure? You want me to wake you tomorrow?"

"What? I wake up earlier than you", Vanitha tried to smile.

"Ok. Goodnight then"

"Goodnight"

Vanitha did not show up the next day either.

And thanks D. For the video of beautiful grandpa. I remember his eyebrows.
I know I am being senti..!

Jade